Philippians 1:19-26
To Live Is Christ
19because I know that through your prayers and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, my distress will turn out for my deliverance.
20I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have complete boldness so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.
21For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
22But if I go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. So what shall I choose? I do not know.
23I am torn between the two. I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better indeed.
24But it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.
25Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith,
26so that through my coming to you again your exultation in Christ Jesus will resound on account of me.
Berean Standard Bible
Paul is in prison, and the first thing he tells them is what he expects will come of it. He knows that through their prayers and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, his distress will turn out for his deliverance. He sets those two beside each other and treats them as one supply: a church on its knees a long way off, and the Spirit of Jesus, both at work on the same problem.
Then he tells them what he is hoping for, and it is not what we would hope for on his behalf. He never asks to be let out. He asks that he will not be ashamed and that his nerve will hold, and then he ends the sentence like this.
so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death
Two doors, and the same person waiting behind each of them. He is not weighing a good outcome against a bad one. He has looked into both and found Christ standing in there.
For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
Most of us have heard the first half of that somewhere. Gain is a word out of ledgers and accounts, what you write in the column when a deal has come out in your favor. He is saying that dying would leave him better off rather than worse off, and a frightened man does not do his sums that way.
Which makes what comes next a surprise. If he goes on living, he says, it means fruitful labor, and then he asks himself which of the two he would choose and answers that he does not know. He is writing to steady other people. He leaves it in anyway.
I am torn between the two. I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better indeed. But it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.
What settles it is not what he wants. He would rather go. It is more necessary for them that he remain, he says, and convinced of this he knows that he will remain, and from there he is talking about their progress and joy in the faith and about coming to see them again.
How We Know
Paul admits something here that weakens him, and the letter keeps it in. An admission like that is worth a little when the question is whether the letter presents Paul or records him.
Verse 22 has him saying he does not know what to choose, and verse 23 that he is torn between the two. This is the man whose judgment the whole letter is asking them to trust, and he records his own indecision in the middle of it.
Verse 23 goes further still. He tells a church a long way off that he would rather leave than stay, and then verse 24 has him staying because they need him rather than because he wants to.
That is a costly thing to put in writing to people you are trying to steady, and nobody smooths it out afterward.
Questions
1 If it were you sitting in that prison, what would you want most?
AnswerNearly all of us would want out. Paul asks for something else: that he will not be ashamed, and that his courage will hold, so that Christ is honored in him whether he lives or dies.
2 What does Paul say he is counting on while he waits?
AnswerTheir prayers, and the Spirit of Jesus Christ providing for him. He names the two in one breath, as though a church praying a long way off and God's own supply were halves of the same thing rather than a plan and a backup.
3 "To die is gain" is a strange sentence. What does the word gain usually mean?
AnswerIt comes out of money and accounts. Gain is what goes in the column when you have come out ahead on something. He is saying that dying would leave him better off rather than worse, which tells you what he thinks is waiting.
4 Paul says outright that he does not know what to choose. Where does the passage leave it?
AnswerNot with what he wants. He says plainly that he would rather depart and be with Christ. Then he says it is more necessary for them that he remain, and that convinced of this he knows he will remain, and he starts talking about seeing them again.
What This Means for Us
Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. That sentence is why Paul can look at both doors without flinching, and it is not a temperament. The same person is standing behind either outcome, so neither one of them can come out empty.
Which is what lets him write down that he does not know, in a letter meant to steady other people. He can afford the honesty because nothing is resting on him reaching the right answer.
Somebody at this table is stuck between two things at the moment. Before working out which one is right, say the part that holds either way: Christ is not waiting at the end of only one of them. Then ask who else is standing inside the decision with you, and pray about it in that order.
Prayer
Father, thank you for a man honest enough to write down that he did not know, where all of us could read it. When we are torn, help us to think about the people around us before we think about ourselves. And give us the kind of courage he asked for, which was mostly about not going quiet. Amen.