Ephesians 5:22-33
Love That Gives Itself
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior.
24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her
26to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27and to present her to Himself as a glorious church, without stain or wrinkle or any such blemish, but holy and blameless.
28In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29Indeed, no one ever hated his own body, but he nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.
30For we are members of His body.
31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
32This mystery is profound, but I am speaking about Christ and the church.
33Nevertheless, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Berean Standard Bible
Paul has just told all believers to submit to one another in reverence for Christ. He now addresses wives and husbands within the household, using the relationship between Christ and the church as the controlling picture. The passage is not a license for one spouse to demand unquestioned power.
Wives are told to submit to their own husbands as to the Lord, and the husband is called the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. Whatever one makes of the difficult word head, Paul immediately puts the husband's responsibility under Christ's example. Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.
Christ's love is active, costly, and aimed at the church's good. He nourishes and cherishes the church as His own body. A husband cannot appeal to this passage while using fear, threats, isolation, humiliation, or violence. Those acts contradict the sacrificial love the passage places at the center.
Paul says the husband is to love his wife as his own body, and that the two become one flesh. He calls this a profound mystery referring to Christ and the church. Marriage is not the whole meaning of Christ's relationship with His people; marriage is being asked to reflect the self-giving care of that greater relationship.
The final command is repeated plainly: each husband must love his wife as himself, and the wife must respect her husband. The passage gives both spouses a serious obligation, and the husband's command is not a lesser version of the wife's. He is called to give himself for her good.
Questions
1 What command has Paul already given to all believers before addressing marriage?
AnswerHe has told believers to submit to one another in reverence for Christ. The marriage instructions begin inside that larger call.
2 What pattern does Paul give husbands?
AnswerHe tells husbands to love as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. The pattern is sacrifice, care, and service.
3 How does Paul describe Christ's care for the church?
AnswerChrist nourishes and cherishes the church as His own body. His authority is exercised for her good, not His convenience.
4 What does the passage finally require of each spouse?
AnswerA husband must love his wife as himself, and a wife must respect her husband. Both are given a serious duty toward the other.
What This Means for Us
This passage should make marriage more accountable, not less. Any interpretation that gives a husband permission to intimidate, control, or harm his wife has abandoned Christ's example of giving Himself for the church.
Respect and love are not competing privileges. They are responsibilities that make the relationship safer and more generous. In a Christian marriage, authority is measured by the willingness to seek the other's good at personal cost.
Prayer
Lord Jesus, teach spouses to follow Your self-giving love. Protect marriages from control and harm, and make respect, sacrifice, truth, and care visible in every Christian home. Amen.