Ephesians 6:1-4
Children and Fathers
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2“Honor your father and mother” (which is the first commandment with a promise),
3“that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on the earth.”
4Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath; instead, bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Berean Standard Bible
Paul addresses children directly: obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Children are not invisible listeners standing outside the serious part of Christian discipleship. They are spoken to as moral participants in the household, with a real response to make toward their parents.
He connects the command to the fifth commandment, to honor father and mother. The promise attached to that command speaks of well-being and a long life in the land. Paul is drawing on Israel's Scripture, where honoring parents belongs to a community's ordered life.
The instruction to fathers is equally direct: do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Parental authority is therefore bounded. It must not become a source of needless humiliation, unpredictable anger, or impossible demands.
Discipline and instruction are meant to serve the child's growth toward the Lord. They are not tools for making a child carry a parent's frustration or fulfill a parent's unspoken ambitions. The command gives fathers responsibility for the atmosphere their authority creates.
How We Know
Paul is drawing on the commandment to honor parents in Exodus and Deuteronomy. The parallel household instruction in Colossians also tells children to obey and warns fathers not to provoke their children, so that they do not become discouraged.
The wider context of Ephesians has already called every believer to submit to one another in reverence for Christ. That does not erase parental responsibility, but it rules out treating authority as personal ownership.
Questions
1 Who does Paul address first in this household passage?
AnswerHe addresses children directly and tells them to obey their parents in the Lord. Children are included as responsible members of the Christian household.
2 What commandment does Paul quote?
AnswerHe quotes the command to honor father and mother, connecting family respect to Israel's covenant instruction.
3 What does Paul tell fathers not to do?
AnswerHe tells them not to provoke their children to wrath. Authority must not become needless anger, humiliation, or discouragement.
4 What positive responsibility does Paul give fathers?
AnswerThey are to bring their children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, directing them toward faithful life rather than parental control.
What This Means for Us
Children deserve both clear guidance and protection from adult volatility. This passage does not bless harshness in the name of discipline. It asks parents to use authority in a way that helps children grow rather than making them afraid of the person who should care for them.
Honor also does not require excusing abuse. A family can respect the goodness of parental responsibility while seeking safety, truth, and wise help when authority has been misused.
Prayer
Father, make our homes places of truth, safety, and patient instruction. Help children respond with wisdom and parents lead without provoking, so that every relationship points toward Christ. Amen.